How to Ski-Trip:

  I have been an avid skier since the tender age of three and enjoy the sport. I even took the exam for the State skiing instructor that is traditionally held in summer on the Kitzsteinhorn-glacier (of course I never worked as one)...Now, girls and boys, this is how we do it: We wake up at 7 a.m., eat a large breakfast and be on the slopes at 8:30 or 9. This early will actually be the best because least crowded time.

  

For lunch we drink tea with lemon- no alcohol like the normaloes [normal/average people] since it will spoil the sport and the great experience of nature (if it’s really cold you may tell Sepp to put some rum in it)- and an apple with a power-bar or some light soup. As you know, I normally don’t refuse a drink if it’s pushed on me but not while skiing, not during the day (smoking on the lift as some cretins seem to be fond of is equally intolerable).

 After one, one-and-a-half hours of rest we’ll be back on the slopes, in the woods and the untouched deep-snow terrain off-track till about 4 p.m. Then, back to hotel, shower and about 2 hours rest (then maybe a few rounds in the pool).

 Then at dinner at a good or authentic restaurant we stuff ourselves with heavier or more opulent foods and drinks- mostly wines and beer-, afterwards off to the bar, nightclub or disco (for this it’s necessary to be in a place like Cortina, Kitzbühel or Gstaad that provides acceptable nightlife): we dance, guzzle Schnaps and fool around till at least 12:30 a.m. Next morning: again, wake-up call at 7 a.m.

Repeat this for one, two weeks!

Such a vacation reinvigorates me both mentally and physically.

p.s. there is an alternative to such a ski-trip: you ski for about 45 minutes a day drink and eat and dance at lunch at the mountain-side hut, bake in the sun and party during day *and* night- absolutely feasible too and recommended to those who don’t or don’t want to ski.